unreel

i've been trying to read. i usually get through novels in a couple of days. they're mostly some form of escapism - SF, Tec, or writers that have imagination - jeanette winterson, kate atkinson, thomas pynchon, you know...

so i first noticed the problem watching tv - in the ad break - usually we fast forward but this was streaming service that didn't let you. and all the people on the street, kids running to the new car, playing in the park - friends meeting, greeting, hugging kissing in bars, going cafe to caberet, like she sang. it reminded me of olden days, when all the guys like that would take out a cigarette, and act like bogart, offer it and a light to the girl. she'd be lauren bacall. long, cool, calm in a crisis. we don't see that any more.

i want to scream at the screen - that is so unreal. I reel. i can't take it. so i go to bed and try to read a book. and if it isn't 10,000 years in the future, or 1000 years in the past, i can't believe it. writers who were so convincing now describe fantasy scenes that make Avengers Assemble look like a walk in the park. literally. not figuratively, literally.

this is harder than i expected.